The homecoming of the Y-DNA Haplogroup R1b

‘Long long ago’. It’s a pretty relative term which differs for every individual. Like long long ago for some may be the last time they went out for a date or for others, the time when Dallas Cowboys last won a trophy.

But in our story, long long ago’s 7000 thousand years ago. An African Tribe with the haplogroup R1b used to inhabit most parts of Western Europe. But mysteriously sometime around 6000-7000 years ago they shut shop, went back to Africa and are now most prevalent in Cameroon.

Now a days whenever one sees someone going back to their country of origin, they either believe their holiday come to an end or their Visa is about to expire. But 7000 years ago the immigration policies were pretty lax and the immigration department didn’t really care. Also it appears unlikely that their fellow indigenous inhabitants who might have been Mammoths, sloths, sabers and others voted for a Brexit like referendum which forced R1b tribes to go back.

So what was the real reason? This is what we speculate.

The weather in western Europe back in the day wasn’t extremely cold and damp, it was much worse, the ice age even though threatening to retreat wasn’t really gone. It was too cold. Whenever kids used to play outside for long, mothers used to yell, “It’s too cold”. Whenever a teeneger was pressurised to take his bi-annual bath he replied, “It’s too cold”. Whenever someone used to cook a steaming hot meal, by the time it was set on the table people grumbled, “It’s too cold”. Even if someone set himself up on fire, his last words before dying due to 3rd degree burns used to be, “It’s too cold”. Apparently the R1b ancestors snapped 8000 years ago and resolved to end the, “It’s too cold” nonsense.

Plus the national pastime of killing the Mammoths was getting compromised after R1b people and others apparently killed too many and they were almost extinct. And there was hardly any food variety in those days and if one wished to eat either Chinese or Indian it had to be delivered from respective counties which normally took about 5-7 working generations. Considering all the above factors and seeking a change they decided to move when the ice age looked like ebbing and a route was created through the European mainland thanks to glacial melts.

Back in the day, instead of the underwater Euro tunnel, there used to be a much more convenient land bridge so there wasn’t much trouble for UK’s R1b inhabitants. So the R1b people set-off after walking through the European heartland they reached the Sahara desert, which during that period was a lush green paradise with grass all around. Overjoyed they proceeded to have the time of their lives.

They apparently had too much fun and pissed off the wrong people who soon tilted the axis of the earth making Sahara the desolate desert we see today.
After getting bored of digging into the sand and getting blown away during sandstorms, they again moved and apparently ended up in Cameroon where they have stayed put ever since. But it exactly wasn’t a fairytale ending to the story as now whenever kids play outside, their mother yell, “Kids come back it’s too hot”!

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Categories: R

Tags: Cameroon, Chad, Fulani, Haplogroup R1b, Hausa, R1b in Africa

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